Charlie and Brax - It's My Fault
by lozxtitchx
Summary: Charlie has to cope on her own after Brax is stabbed to death. How will she manage when the love of her life is gone and her own life descends into chaos as she blames herself?
1. Chapter 1

"_If there is an afterlife, then maybe I'll see you there" – _these had been Brax's last words to me before he died peacefully in hospital after been stabbed. It hadn't been his fault, it had been mine. If I had got Brax's message sooner, then maybe he'd still be alive, maybe he'd still be with him, holding me whilst I cried myself to sleep every night…

He'd been gone seven days, a week. 168 hours, 10,080 minutes and 604,800 seconds. I sat on the beach, on the warm sand, aimlessly playing with it whilst I started into space, into the horizon. Brax was there, somewhere, watching over me. I knew that much. He'd told me he'd always be there for me, always looking out for me, and that I should try and move on with my life, but right now? I couldn't see myself doing that…

"I love you, you know that right?" his voice asked as I sat on the beach all alone

"Yeah, I know" I replied, biting my lip to stop the tears flowing

"Don't cry" he begged "I need you to be strong and brave Charl, just like I know you can be"

"I can't be Brax. You were the one who made me strong. Without you I'm gonna fall apart" I admitted

"No you're not. You've got Rubes, Bianca, Casey, Heath and everyone else. They're all gonna support you, they'll all be there" he informed me

"But they're not you" I replied "they're not you. I need you"

"I'm always here, I promise you. I'm always in your heart" he stated

"But you're not here, here are you? You're not here to hold me, to kiss me, to make love to me, to make me feel amazing and beautiful just by looking at me, and that's my fault" I proclaimed "Heath and Case have lost a brother because of me, Ruby has lost the only Dad she's ever known because of me"

"Listen to me" he stated "me not being there with you anymore isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. It's just what happens"

"I hate life without you in it" I admitted "it's not worth living"

"Yes it is, because one day, one day you'll move on and you'll meet someone who'll make you feel amazing and beautiful, and you'll be happy" he informed me

"Don't say that, don't. Just stop" I proclaimed

I stood up and ran away, hearing his voice whisper "I love you" as I ran up the beach…


	2. Chapter 2

I'm on a mission to make laurenmenzies2 cry!

I sat in Angelo's, the restaurant I now owned downing shot after shot after shot of vodka…

"Charlie, do you not think you've had enough?" Liam asked, making his way over to me

"Go away Liam, unless you want me to sack you" I proclaimed, pouring another shot

"No" he stated, taking the bottle from me "go home and be with Ruby. She's hurting just as much as you are"

I sighed and downed what little liquid I'd poured into the glass before standing up and walking, or more like stumbling out of the restaurant…

"Alright darling, fancy a drink?" an unfamiliar voice asked

I looked up at the group of guys who'd stopped in front of me. I knew I shouldn't have but nodded…

"Okay, let's go" he replied, wrapping his arm around my waist

"No, not there" I proclaimed "I own that place and I've just finished for the day"

They nodded and we made our way up the beach, heading to another bar. A few hours later…

"How about you come back to my place for the after-party?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow

"Charlie, don't do this" Brax's voice begged "it's not gonna help"

"I can't, I'm sorry" I replied "I should go"

"Do I not even get a goodnight kiss? Or your number even?" he questioned

I shook my head and before he had chance to grab me I ran off down the street. I stopped when I knew I was far enough away and fell down to the ground, sobbing…

"I'm proud of you baby" Brax's voice informed me

"You should be here" I sighed "we'd be curled up in bed right now"

"I know. Charl, I miss you" he admitted

"I miss you too Brax, so much" I replied "you're here aren't you?"

"Always. I'm always gonna be in your heart, I promise. I'm never gonna leave. Now go home and sleep, Ruby's worrying" he informed me

"You're watching Ruby too?" I questioned, shocked

"Yeah, of course I am. She's like my daughter" he stated

"Brax, thank you" I sighed

"What for?" he asked

"For being here, even though you're not" I admitted

"You're welcome. Go home" he proclaimed

I nodded and stood up, wiping my eyes before pulling off my heels and walking along the beach back to the house…

"Mum, oh my goodness" Ruby proclaimed as I walked in the door "I've been so worried"

"I'm sorry darling" I sighed, hugging her tightly as she hugged me "can we talk in the morning please? I really need to sleep"

She nodded and pulled away, her gaze on me as I made my way into the bedroom Brax and I used to share. I pulled my clothing off and laid it on the chair before changing into my favourite shirt of Brax's and climbing into bed, picking up the picture of us from my bedside table, the day we'd got engaged. I sighed and stroked his face before moving over to his side of the bed, his scent still very much there and wrapped my arms around his pillow before falling into a deep sleep…


	3. Chapter 3

"God, you look amazing" I heard Brax's voice sigh as I stood surveying my appearance

"I shouldn't look amazing" I admitted "I hardly slept worrying about today"

"Everything's gonna be fine" he assured me

"How is it? I'm saying goodbye to you and after today, you'll be gone" I proclaimed

"I won't, I'll still be here" he replied

"Yeah, yeah, in my heart and all that nonsense. You won't be here though will you? You know how I'm gonna be and you won't be here to hold me" I stated

"You know I wish I could be" he informed me

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry" I sighed

"You've got nothing to be sorry for" he replied

"Mum, it's time to go" Ruby's voice informed me

"Promise me you'll be here?" I questioned

"I promise" he replied

I turned and I could see his figure sat on the bed, a smile on his face as he watched me. I smiled weakly and grabbed my handbag before leaving the room…

"You okay? Who were you talking to?" Ruby asked as I walked into the living room

"Myself" I chuckled "ticking things off. You know the drill"

She nodded and smiled weakly before entwining her hand with my own, Heath and Casey making their way through from the kitchen, Bianca and Cheryl in tow…

"Are we ready?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

They nodded and I nodded in agreement before we left the house, making our way out to the cars…

"Now Brax's stepdaughter would like to say a few words" the vicar announced to the congregation

Ruby squeezed my hand and I let it go and watched as she walked up to the stand, taking a deep breath before beginning…

"At first I didn't like Brax or his brothers, no one did, but they proved they were great guys and Brax won my Mum's heart. In all honesty I think he did from the moment they laid eyes on each other. We were lucky enough to have him in our lives. He was not only a Dad to me but a friend, a confidant, a person I could go to whenever Charlie and I had arguments, and he'd tell me to go and put things right because you never know how much time you've got left. Brax was an amazing guy. He wasn't just a brother to his brothers, he was their father too. He was a rock to everyone who came into his life and he'll never be forgotten"

I watched as Ruby made her way down from the stand and back to sit next to me, our hands entwining yet again. I inhaled and exhaled to stop myself from tearing up as the curtains drew around Brax's coffin. He was to be cremated, and tonight Heath, Casey, myself, Ruby, Cheryl, Bianca and the other Riverboys were to say our own goodbye at the beach, the place he loved the most…


	4. Chapter 4

After the wake at Angelo's myself, Ruby, Heath, Casey, Bianca and the other Riverboys headed down to the beach. Heath, Casey and the other boys were going to lay some wreaths in the water. I watched as they got themselves organised and I stood, one hand clasped in Ruby's and one hand clasped in Bianca's as they weakly smiled as they made their way out into the water…

"Brax would've loved this" Ruby sighed as we sat on the sand later that night

"Yeah, yeah he would" I replied, thinking over all the times me and him had sat on the beach together

"It wasn't your fault, you know that right?" she questioned

"I know darling. I just wish I'd got the call sooner" I admitted

"I know you do. Even though he's not here, he's still here, if that makes sense?" she enquired

"We're gonna head off" Heath informed us as I was about to answer

"Why don't you go with them Rubes?" I suggested, raising an eyebrow

"Are you gonna come too?" she asked

"C'mon Rubes, let's give your Mum some space" Bianca advised, placing a hand on my shoulder

I turned and smiled at her weakly as Ruby embraced me before standing up, walking away with the others. I sat for a few moments in silence before pulling a box out of my bag…

"What you got there?" Brax's voice asked

"Rose petals" I informed him

"Our flower" he replied

I smiled weakly and felt the tears begin to sting my eyes…

"I know you probably think all of this is soppy" I sighed

"No, it's beautiful" he admitted

"Yeah?" I questioned, turning to where his voice was coming from

"Yeah" he mirrored "go ahead. I'll watch"

I smiled and stood up, dusting myself off before making my way out to the shore before taking the lid off the box and tipping it upside down, the rose petals falling out into the water…

"I'm sorry" I whispered, wiping my tears away

"It's okay" he assured me

"No it's not. I'm meant to be strong but I can't be Brax" I admitted "I can't"

"You can and you will" he replied "it's just gonna take time"

"How much time? I don't think I can cope with this much longer" I questioned

"That's something I don't have the answer to" he sighed

"Makes a change" I chuckled lightly

He didn't answer. I made my way back up the beach and sat back down, watching the moonlight reflecting on the water as the rose petals made their way further out into the ocean…


	5. Chapter 5

"Jesus" I proclaimed as I came to that morning, seeing Brax lying next to me

"I've never got that reaction before" he chuckled "how did you sleep?"

"Okay I think" I lied, having not really slept at all

"You don't have to lie to me y'know" he admitted "I've been here all night. I've watched you toss and turn"

"Brax" I sighed "it's just so hard getting used to everything"

"I know baby, I know" he replied "it's hard for me too, especially when you're looking amazing like you are now"

"What? Bed hair and no make up?" I questioned, a smirk playing on my lips

"No, you in my shirt" he informed me "you know how much I've always loved you in my clothes. You look so sexy"

I turned to him and smiled, a sexy smirk on his face. I smiled again and began to undo the buttons before climbing out of bed…

"Where're you going?" he enquired

"For a shower" I informed him

I heard a low groan escape his lips and I smirked once again before breaking down in tears, the reality of how things should be and how they were hitting me…

"Charlie, what's the matter?" Ruby asked, running into the bathroom

"I miss him so much Rubes" I proclaimed, sobbing even harder as she pulled me into her

"I know you do, we all do" she replied, rocking us back and forth until my sobs subsided

"I'm sorry baby" I sighed as we sat next to each other, our backs against the wall

"It's fine. I know how much you miss him" she admitted, entwining our hands

"It hurts so much Rubes" I informed her "one minute he was here and we were engaged and the next, he's gone"

Ruby didn't answer, she just tightened her grasp on my hand as I glanced down at my hand, my engagement ring still pride of place on my finger…

"He couldn't wait to marry you, for you to become Mrs Braxton" Ruby admitted, breaking the silence

"I couldn't wait to become Mrs Braxton. I'd always dreamt about it, even from the first moment we met" I replied, glancing over at the bed, his figure still there

"He never once said a bad thing about you, you know that?" Ruby questioned

"Really? I said plenty of bad things about him" I chuckled, the tears welling up in my eyes again

"I know you did, but no, he never did, not once. He always knew you'd end up together. He always spoke so highly of you Charl" she informed me

"I didn't deserve a guy like him" I sighed

"What're you going on about? Of course you did" she proclaimed

"No I didn't" I replied "not after what happened to me. I was tainted"

"Are you talking about Grant?" she asked, raising an eyebrow

I nodded and swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat…

"That was the only secret I ever kept from him. I didn't want him to think of me as damaged goods and leave me" I admitted

"Charlie" Ruby sighed "you know he wouldn't of done that. He loved you far too much"

"I know that now, which is why I wish I'd told him" I replied

"Then why don't you? I hear you talking to him" she informed me

"You do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

"Yeah, you sound so happy, just like whenever you talked about him" she stated, smiling

"Thanks Rubes" I sighed, hugging her tightly

"You're welcome. I'll leave you to it" she informed me

So, next chapter, Charlie's gonna tell Brax about Grant and what he did to her. Cue the waterworks…


	6. Chapter 6

I watched as Ruby left the room, shutting the door behind her. I then glanced over at Brax who was sat on the bed, and watched as he made his way over to me, his presence sitting down next to me…

"Who's Grant?" he questioned

"He was my ex – Ruby's Dad" I began

"Right, and what do you have to tell me about him?" he asked

"I can't tell you" I admitted, bowing my head

"Charl, you can tell me anything. Please baby" he begged

I swallowed a lump in my throat and glanced at him before continuing "you knew I was a young Mum, right? Well I was very young, younger than I ever wanted to be, and that's because he pushed me into sleeping with him"

"Charlie, please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying?" he enquired

"He raped me Brax, I'm sorry" I informed him "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want you to hate me"

"I wish I could hug you right now" he sighed "I could never hate you. Never"

"I know that now, and wish I'd told you sooner. I'm sorry" I replied

"Hey, it's okay. Come on now, don't cry, please" he begged

"I'm sorry" I sighed, sniffing back the tears "I just wish I'd told you so you could hold me"

"I know you do, and I do too. Listen, is he still alive now?" he asked

"Why? You wanna go and haunt him?" I questioned, a smile playing on my lips

"Possibly! So, is he?" he enquired

"No. When Dad found out I was pregnant he went ballistic and he" I sighed "he killed him"

"Charlie" he proclaimed "I wish you'd have told me all of this"

"It's fine, honestly" I replied, plastering a smile onto my face "do you hate me?"

"No, of course I don't. I love you even more for telling me. You're so brave baby" he informed me

"I don't feel brave" I admitted "I feel stupid and worthless. I feel like nothing"

"Don't you dare say that" he proclaimed "you are something. You're something to Rubes, you're something to everyone, and most importantly you're something to me"

"I love you Braxton, you know that?" I questioned

"Yeah, I know" he replied, a smile on his face "I love you too"


	7. Chapter 7

Hopefully this chapter will make you cry laurenmenzies2. Thank you for the idea abz1621…

This was it, the day I'd been waiting for. Mine and Brax's wedding day. Everything was organised and perfect, and as I slipped into my dress with the help of Ruby and Bianca I couldn't help but sigh contentedly as I knew I was marrying the man of my dreams…

Ever since I'd first laid eyes on Charlie I knew she was the woman for me, but unlike other girls who normally fell to my feet, she was different. She didn't take any of my nonsense and she didn't let me get under her skin, or so I thought. The first time we slept together was when I knew I had, and she knew I had too. She tried to deny having feelings for me but in the end, she crumbled, and so did I – we fell in love, and that was the end of that…

"Charlie, you look beautiful" Bianca sighed as we stood waiting for the wedding cars

"Thank you, so do you. And you too Ruby" I replied, smiling widely, a smile that hadn't left my face since the moment I woke up

"Brax isn't gonna be able to keep his hands off you" Ruby chuckled

"Ruby Buckton" I scolded, hitting her playfully

"Soon to be Braxton. It's gonna be weird sharing the same name as my boyfriend" she admitted

"But it's gonna be great too" I assured her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder as the cars pulled up

She nodded in agreement and we shared a quick hug, one by one myself, Bianca and Ruby climbed into the car…

BRAX'S POV:

"Anyone would think you're nervous" Heath chuckled as we waited at the church

"I am mate, I am. What if I screw this up?" I questioned

"You're not going to. Charlie loves you, imperfections and all" he replied, smiling

"And your idiocies too" Casey interjected "right, they're here. Everyone inside"

I smiled and the three of us, along with the guests who'd gathered outside made our way into the church, it decorated with roses and lilies, just how Charlie had wanted it. I was going to make sure this was the perfect day for her. Nothing and no one were going to ruin it…

CHARLIE'S POV:

We pulled up outside the church and the driver stepped out, opening the door for the three of us…

"You ready?" Bianca questioned as we stood at the doors as the music began to play

"More than I'll ever be" I assured her, smiling widely as first she made her way down the aisle, and then Ruby and then me

As I made my way down the aisle the atmosphere in the room changed, and I focused my thoughts on getting to the altar to my husband-to-be, but instead of seeing him stood there, a smile adorning his face, I saw him lying on the ground, paramedics attending to him, a stab wound bleeding through his dress shirt…

"No" I shouted, and that's when I snapped out of it

"Charlie, it's okay" Ruby's voice informed me as she held me tightly

"It was so real Rubes" I sighed "we were there, we were so close and then he was ripped from me"

"I know Charlie, I know" she replied

"Why did he have to die?" I asked "everything was finally perfect"

"Life deals cruel twists of fate" she sighed "some more unfortunate than others"

"When did you become so wise?" I questioned, glancing up at her

"It's these years of education" she chuckled "are you gonna be okay? Do you want me to stay?"

"No, you go. Thank you sweetie" I replied

She smiled and climbed off of the bed, making her way out of the room, shutting the door behind her…


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, how did you sleep?" Ruby asked as I made my way out into the living room that morning

"Okay" I replied, smiling "I'm gonna go and get some air though. I'll see you later"

She sighed and nodded as I grabbed my keys, making my way out of the house and down to the beach. I sat in a deserted spot, the weather not being up to much, watching out as the waves crashed together, and that's when I spotted his figure, surfing away like the pro he was. I continued to watch and suddenly, an idea hit me. I needed to feel closer to him. I stood up and made my way into the surf club, picking up a surfboard before making my way back out, stripping myself down to my bikini, making my way out into the waves…

HEATH'S POV:

Casey and I made our way down to the beach to have a surf before the waves got dangerous like they'd been reported. I stood up after cleaning my board and that's when I spotted Charlie out in the ocean…

"What the hell" I proclaimed, running out into the water to get her

CHARLIE'S POV:

I didn't know what I was doing and as the waves got stronger and stronger I lost control, my head dipping under the water several times…

"Charlie, what the hell are you doing?" Heath's voice asked as he swam his way over to me

"I just wanted to feel closer to him Heath" I informed him

"By trying to kill yourself. Great idea" he replied "take a hold of my hand. Come on"

"No, I'm staying out here" I stated

"Charlie, don't be stupid" he sighed "take my hand. Let's go back to shore. I'll teach you to surf another day"

"I'm not stupid Heath" I proclaimed "I don't want you to teach me how to surf. I want Brax to teach me to, just like he said he would"

"Charlie, he's not here anymore. He's gone. He can't" he stated

"I know that Heath, I know. It's my fault" I replied

"No it's not" Brax's voice sighed "none of this is your fault. Please, go back with Heath before you hurt yourself"

"You're not real so stop telling me what to do" I shouted

"Charlie, are you okay?" Heath asked, raising an eyebrow

"Charlie, go back to shore with Heath, please" Brax begged

"Charlie, I'm gonna drag you out of here myself if I have to" Heath informed me

I turned my face to the side and saw Brax beside me, his face, his eyes begging me to. I clasped onto Heath's hand and we made our way back to shore, Casey wrapping a towel around me as we stepped onto the sand…

"What were you thinking Charlie? You could've got yourself killed" he proclaimed

"I just wanted to feel close to him" I sighed "he's gone hasn't he?"

"Yeah he has" Heath replied, wrapping his arm around me

"What am I gonna do without him Heath?" I questioned, tears springing to my eyes "he was the only man I ever loved and he's gone"

Heath didn't answer; he just pulled me into him and held me as I sobbed…

BRAX'S POV:

I watched as Heath and Casey comforted Charlie, my heart breaking as she sobbed into Heath's chest. All they could do was hug her and try and convince her everything was okay, something I couldn't do…


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to abz1621 for all her advice/help with this story. You guys might hate me when you've read…

HEATH'S POV:

Charlie was in a bad way, a real bad way. Luckily Bianca had been the only one around when Casey and I brought her back from the beach. She'd managed to convince Charlie to get some sleep. She entered the living room and sat down next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder supportively…

"Where's Case?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow

"He's gone to work" I replied "Liam was short staffed and I thought it'd be best if I stayed here with you to help look after Charlie"

"She will be okay, you know?" she asked

"She was my brother's girl, the only girl he ever truly loved. They were happy. Why did this have to happen?" I enquired

"Babe, I don't know" she sighed, laying her head on my shoulder "are you okay?"

"Not really but I've gotta be strong for Charlie" I stated "she needs me"

"Don't let anyone ever tell you any different Heath Braxton. You're a good man" she proclaimed

"That's a nice thing to hear" I sighed, kissing her softly

CHARLIE'S POV:

Bianca had left the room over an hour ago and I still couldn't sleep. I'd been tossing and turning, trying to sleep but every time I tried and shut my eyes, I saw Brax. I climbed out of bed and pulled my flip flops onto my feet, climbing out of the bedroom window and sneaking down to Angelo's…

"Charlie, what're you doing here?" Casey asked as I walked behind the bar, grabbing myself a bottle of vodka

"Get on with some work Case" I replied "it's what I pay you for"

He sighed and walked away, leaving me to it. Little did I know he was calling Heath…

HEATH'S POV:

"Alright Case, keep an eye on her and I'll be there in ten" I informed him

"What was that all about?" Bianca asked, walking through from the kitchen

"Charlie's at Angelo's getting wasted" I sighed "I won't be long"

"Do you want me to come with you?" she questioned, putting the tea towel down

"No, you stay here. I won't be long" I replied, kissing her softly before grabbing my house keys

CHARLIE'S POV:

"You snitch" I proclaimed as I saw Heath enter the bar as Casey walked past

"C'mon Charl, let's go" Heath stated, picking up my handbag

"Don't call me Charl, only Brax calls me that" I hissed

"Fine. Charlie, let's go" he sighed, grabbing a hold of my arm, ushering me out of the restaurant

Heath was walking behind me and I slowed down so he could walk opposite me, the fresh air sobering me up dramatically quickly…

"Sorry" I admitted as we walked along the beach back to the house

"It's okay" he replied "here, I look like a woman"

I chuckled and took my handbag from him. I stopped in my tracks and so did he, I turned to face him and moved towards him, placing my hand on his shoulder…

"Y'know something, I've always wanted to see whether you'd be as good in bed as Brax was" I admitted

"Don't Charlie" he replied, pulling away

"C'mon Heath, I know you want me" I stated "don't think I never used to see you checking me out before you got it on with Bianca. When I used to stay over at yours, remember?"

Heath licked his lips. I smirked and pressed my lips onto his, him pushing me away…

"No Charlie, no" he proclaimed "you're grieving. We all are. Stop"

"Heath" I shouted after him as he began to walk away

He continued to walk, leaving me alone on the beach as the reality of what I'd just done sank in and that's when I let go, sobbing my heart out once again…


	10. Chapter 10

CHARLIE'S POV:

I walked into the house later on that evening, surprised Heath was still awake…

"Hi" he greeted me, switching the TV off

"Hi" I mirrored, shutting the door and making my way into the kitchen

"Charlie, we need to talk" he informed me, following me through as I put the kettle on

"What I did at the beach was stupid Heath, okay? I know that" I admitted

"Yeah it was, real stupid" he replied "but I understand why you did it. Charlie, we're all here"

"I know you are but the only person I want is Brax. The only person I want to talk to is him and he's gone. It's my fault" I proclaimed

"You need to stop blaming yourself too. It wasn't your fault" he stated

"It was. If I'd have got his calls and messages sooner he might still be alive" I proclaimed

"The doctors said the stab wound was fatal. He wouldn't have made it Charlie, no matter how quick he got to the hospital" he explained

"Hey, what's going on out here?" Bianca asked, making her way out of the bedroom

"Nothing, everything's fine. Go back to bed, babe" Heath insisted

"Are you sure? Are you okay Charlie?" she questioned

I nodded and she smiled, me reciprocating a weak smile back. Heath kissed her cheek gently and I turned my head away, not being able to watch couple interaction. She made her way back through to the bedroom and looked up at Heath again…

"Have you told her what I did?" I enquired, raising an eyebrow

"No, and I'm not going to" he informed me

"Why not? I deserve you telling her. I deserve a slap" I sighed

"No, you deserve to grieve, just like we're all doing" he replied

"I am grieving Heath, this is my way of grieving" I admitted

"No it's not. It's your way of spiralling out of control" he stated "if you want, which I know you do, I'm gonna help you get your life back on track so you can grieve for my brother"

"You mean that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

"Charlie, you're the closest thing Case and I have to a sister. Of course I'm gonna help, but only if you'll let me?" he questioned

I stayed silent for a moment before nodding my head…

"That's a yes?" he enquired

"It's a yes" I informed him, smiling

He smiled back and hugged me tightly, leaving me alone in the kitchen as he made his way to bed…


	11. Chapter 11

"Morning" Ruby greeted me as I walked into the kitchen "it's nice to see you up before eight"

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her as I took a sip of my orange juice…

"Thank you for everything Rubes. I really appreciate it" I informed her

"You're welcome" she replied

"Ready to go?" Heath asked, breaking the moment

"Where're you two going?" Ruby questioned, raising an eyebrow

"For a walk, and then I'm giving your Mum a surfing lesson" Heath informed her

"Surfing? Really Charlie?" she questioned, shocked

"Yeah, it's a way I can be closer and connect with Brax" I explained "we'll see you later"

She nodded and we made our way out of the house…

RUBY'S POV:

I watched as Charlie and Heath left the house, Bianca leaving Heath's room, joining me in the kitchen a moment or two later…

"Are you sure Charlie surfing is such a good idea?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

"I do, yeah. She needs to feel closer to Brax to grieve so if this is her way then this her way. Nothing will happen to her though. Heath will look after her, I promise" she assured me

"Yeah, I know he will" I sighed "I'm off for a shower"

Bianca nodded and I made my way into the bathroom to shower and get organised for the day…

CHARLIE'S POV:

Heath and I walked along the deserted beach in a comfortable silence until he broke it…

"You were the one girl he ever loved, you know that right?" he asked as we walked

"Yeah, yeah I do" I replied, smiling weakly "he was the only guy I ever loved too"

"And something else. I was kinda looking forward to you becoming my sister-in-law" he admitted

"Really? So hating me, that was a façade was it?" I enquired, raising an eyebrow

"No, I did to begin with. But then I saw the way Brax was around you and I thought you were kinda cool and you know what Buckton, you sorta are" he chuckled

"Thanks Heath, I think" I replied as we continued to walk

BRAX'S POV:

I watched from my place on the sand as Heath taught Charlie the basics to surfing. How to stand on the board correctly. How to position yourself correctly. Where to position yourself and how to position the board, all things I should've done, should be doing. I watched as Charlie peeled her sundress off and revealed her white bikini, her toned body beautiful as ever. I sighed and watched as they made their way out into the water, my heart breaking…


	12. Chapter 12

Today was a brighter day. I climbed out of bed and made my way through to the living room, the post on the doormat. I picked it up and noticed there was a letter addressed to me. I picked it up and opened it, falling to the floor in tears as I read its contents…

"Charlie, are you okay?" Casey asked as he made his way into the living room

"Just get Heath, get Heath please" I begged

Casey nodded and returned with Heath a minute later. Casey left the room as I handed Heath the letter. He read it and I watched his facial expression change. He screwed it up and threw it in the kitchen bin, making his way back over to me…

"Pirovic can't hurt you now Charlie, I promise" he assured me "don't let all this progress be for nothing"

"I don't want it to be Heath but him getting in contact, it changes things. Surely you can see that?" I asked

"Yeah, I can but you're making great progress. Think of it as a step forward, not a step backwards" he begged

"Can you take me surfing again please? I need to clear my head" I questioned

He nodded and I smiled, both of us leaving the house after he'd left Bianca a note saying where we were going. We made our way out of the house and down to the beach, and straight out into the ocean…

BRAX'S POV:

I'd watched as Charlie broke down in tears after reading the letter from Jake. I wanted to kill him for hurting her when she'd been making such good progress, but thankfully Heath had been so good with her. He'd calmed her down and made her realise it was a step forward, not a step back. She was getting on with her life, something which I'd been begging her to do since the day I died…

CHARLIE'S POV:

After my surf everything seemed clearer in my head. Heath and I made our way back to the house to shower and change. After dinner that evening I made my way down to the beach, sitting down in the sand I felt Brax's presence join me…

"Long time no see" I sighed as I played with the sand

"Yeah, sorry" he replied "how're things?"

"Better. Your brother's great" I informed him "although you can probably see that"

"Yeah I can. He's doing a good job helping you out" he stated

"He's been amazing Brax, but he shouldn't have to be" I admitted

"Why?" he questioned, confused

"I don't know whether you saw this but I got drunk one night and made a pass at him. I'm sorry" I sighed "Brax, say something please"

"You were grieving. You were drunk. It's okay" he assured me

"It's not okay Brax. He's with Bianca" I proclaimed

"You're sorry for what you did and you're moving on, that's a good thing. Leave the past in the past" he stated

"Does that mean you too?" I enquired

"Only if you want to" he informed me

"Of course I don't. You were the best thing to ever happen to me" I sighed

"And you were for me too. You made me into a better man Charlie, I'll never forget that" he assured me

"And you made me more fun, more carefree. I'll never forget that either" I mirrored

We stopped speaking. I knew he was still by my side, I could feel him…


	13. Chapter 13

"I can't believe it's been half a year since I've seen your face" I sighed as I sat in the spot where Brax died "since I've felt your lips on mine. Since I've felt your touch. Since you've made me feel amazing and like I'm the only thing that matters"

"Charlie, go home" Brax begged "you need to be with the family. Stop torturing yourself"

"Six months and you're still with me" I replied, smiling "thank you"

"I'm always gonna be with you Charlie, you know that" he informed me

"I know" I stated, smiling weakly as I stroked the spot of carpet where his body had laid

"I'm sorry I caused you so much heartache before I died" he sighed, breaking the silence we'd found ourselves in

"You don't need to apologise" I informed him "I know how sorry you are"

"Do you? Do you know how sorry I am for leaving you? I should've fought" he admitted

"Heath told me the stab wound was fatal, Brax. Even if you'd have tried to fight your body wouldn't have let you" I replied

"But I could've fought to stay with you longer. To at least get through our marriage vows" he sighed, his voice breaking

"Don't Brax, please" I begged

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as we both shall live" he stated

I smiled as the tears began to fall…

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as we both shall live" I mirrored

"We can skip the ring bit" he chuckled

"You may now kiss your bride" I sighed, sniffing back my tears

"I wish I could" he admitted

"I wish you could too" I replied

"I love you Charlie" he informed

"I love you too Brax" I sighed


	14. Chapter 14

"_Touch me, and you'll regret it" I informed Brax as he went to touch my face_

"_Nah, I can't ever imagine regretting touching you" he replied_

_I grabbed his arm and twisted it, sending him flying into the fridge…_

"_Are you gonna behave if I let go?" I questioned_

"_Nuh" he replied, a smirk on his face_

_I sighed and let him go. He straightened his shirt and turned to face me, a smirk on his face before he pulled me towards him, crushing our lips together in a passionate, mind-blowing kiss…_

"Leah, I don't suppose I could go through to my old room could I?" I asked as we sat at her dining room table, my mind continuing to wander off

"Go ahead. I'm just gonna go and pick VJ up from Nippers" she informed me

I nodded and she stood up, smiling warmly as she grabbed her keys and left the house. I sat for a few more moments before standing up, remembering all the stolen moments, hugs and kisses Brax and I had shared in this place before things had become public for us…

"_VJ's gonna be back from Nippers soon, let's go" I whispered as I pulled away from his lips_

"_Jeez, listen to you. Sometimes I think you're only after one thing" he chuckled_

_I smirked… "Why else would you text me?"_

"_Gee, I don't know. Maybe I wanted to talk to you" he replied_

_I scoffed and laughed, pressing my lips against his…_

"_Alright, what's been happening?" he asked_

"_Nothing much. Why do you ask?" I replied, continuing to walk into the living room_

"_Just making small talk, the way normal couples do. How's work?" he questioned_

"_Work's fine" I informed him, trying to suppress my laughter_

"_Really? So everything's cool?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, stopping us from walking_

"_I think I know what this is about" I admitted, pursing my lips together_

"_Really?" he enquired_

"_Casey's told you about this ridiculous date I'm going on hasn't he?" I asked_

"_I haven't heard the whole story" he informed me "why didn't you tell me?"_

"_Ruby's been on my back about meeting someone, and the only way I could get her off my back was by agreeing to go on a date with some guy she found on the Internet, and I was gonna tell you, I promise, I was just waiting till after we" I explained, glancing at the bedroom_

"_Till after we? Right" he replied "so hang on, you are going out on a date with another bloke?"_

_I hesitated momentarily, unsure of his reaction… "Yes. Tonight, but it's only to keep her happy. Do you want me to cancel?"_

"_No, no. I think it's about time someone took you out on a proper date" he informed me, pressing his lips against mine gently_

"_So, you're not jealous?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I wrapped my arms around his waist_

"_No, I think we've done enough talking though" he replied, pressing his lips against mine again "quick the kids are coming, quick, quick, quick"_

_I chuckled and guided him through to my bedroom, our afternoon rendezvous continuing…_

My memories continued, the thoughts, flashbacks continuing in my head. I had to get out of there. I ran out of the door, almost bumping into Leah and VJ…

"Charlie, are you okay?" she asked worriedly

"I'm fine, I've got to go. I'm sorry" I replied, hurrying away from the house as fast as my feet would take me

I ran all the way back to the house, slamming the door shut behind me…

"Hey, what's the matter?" Heath asked

"I thought it might make things easier if I went back to the house with Leah" I explained "but it didn't. All I've got are flashbacks of me and Brax before everyone found out"

"Come here" he sighed, pulling me into his arms, hugging me tightly "it's good that you're remembering him, the happier times"

"We should still be having happy times Heath" I admitted "that's the thing"

"Charlie, you need to stop. Please" he begged "you're gonna make yourself ill"

"I'm sorry Heath, I really am" I replied

"I know you are" he stated, keeping me locked in his embrace until I calmed myself down


	15. Chapter 15

"You're a natural" Brax informed me as I walked back up the beach, my surfboard under my arm

"I learnt from the master" I sighed, drying myself off "sorry, I didn't mean that"

"No, it's fine. Heath is the master. He's always been better than me" he replied

"Brax, there were plenty more things you were better at than him" I informed him, biting my lip

"If you're trying to insinuate what I think you are, how do you know?" he questioned

"Just a lucky hunch I guess" I replied, smiling

I laid on the sand, Brax lying down next to me. I could almost feel his touch, his hand in mine…

"I went to Leah's the other day" I admitted "I couldn't stay long. Too many memories"

"Good and bad, yeah?" he questioned

"Mostly good but some bad" I replied "I was just remembering everything. Our kiss, and what it led to. Remember the internet guy?"

"Don't remind me. I know I said I wasn't jealous but I was" he chuckled

"Finally, he admits it" I proclaimed "I knew you were"

"You knew me too well, even then" he sighed "I'm sorry for not being more honest"

"It's okay, I get it" I replied as a couple walked past, giving me strange looks as they thought I was talking to myself

"People think you're talking to yourself don't they?" he asked

"Yeah, and it looks like I am" I sighed "I'm gonna head home"

"I'll see you later" he informed me

"Yeah, see you later" I mirrored, walking away


	16. Chapter 16

"_What's all this for?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as Brax and I made our way into a darkened Angelo's_

"_You'll see. How about a glass of champagne?" he enquired, motioning to the bar_

_I nodded and smiled, following him to the bar as he organised us a glass each. He handed me it and we clinked our glasses together, taking a sip…_

"_So, why did you ask me here then?" I asked_

"_There's something I wanted to ask you" he informed me, setting both of our drinks down_

"_Okay" I replied nervously_

_He took my hands in his and smiled at me warmly…_

"_What is it, Brax? You're scaring me" I admitted_

"_There's nothing to be scared of" he assured me "Charlie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you so much, more than you'll ever know"_

_He dropped one of my hands and reached into his pocket. When he produced a box in his hand I knew exactly what was coming, the tears springing to my eyes…_

"_Charl, marry me, please? Make me the happiest man and become my wife" he questioned_

"_Yes" I proclaimed "yes"_

_He smiled widely and opened the box, producing a diamond ring, taking my hand in his, placing it onto my finger…_

"_Perfect fit" he sighed contentedly_

"_Just like us" I replied, smiling widely_

_He pulled me towards him and kissed me passionately…_

I woke up, the tears trailing down my face…


	17. Chapter 17

"Can you believe it's been a year?" Heath asked as me and him walked along the beach

"No" I sighed, sticking my hands further into my denim short pockets "it feels like yesterday"

"Yeah, it does" he stated, sighing too "how're you doing?"

"I'm doing okay, getting there. How're you doing?" I questioned

"Getting there too" he mirrored, smiling weakly as I linked my arm through his

"Who'd have thought eh? Me and you would be friends" I chuckled

"I know, right? I never thought I could be friends with a cop. Well, only if there was something in it for me" he admitted

"Heath, you're a pig" I sighed, rolling my eyes at his disgustingness

"What? I've got Bianca now so it's all good" he replied, smiling

"You really love her, don't you?" I enquired

"Yeah, I do. Just like I know Brax loved you" he informed me

I smiled as we continued to walk… "I see him every day. We talk, it's just like he's still here. Just like you"

"Really?" he asked

"I thought you'd say I was crazy" I admitted

"Charlie, I'd never say that" he assured me "what does he say? What do you talk about?"

"Anything and everything, just like we used to. You, Case, Rubes, me and him, you and Bianca" I informed him

"Does he miss us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow

I inhaled and exhaled before nodding, Heath smiling weakly, knowing it was upsetting for me to talk about…

"I need to talk about it. You're the first person I've told" I admitted

"Really? Is he here now?" he enquired

I smiled and nodded, motioning in front of us where I could see Brax's figure stood, a smile on his face…

"Say hi to him for me?" he asked

"Heath says hi, Brax" I informed him

Brax nodded and said hi back…

"He says hi back" I smiled

"Is he okay?" Heath questioned, raising an eyebrow

"Yeah, he's great" I replied, smiling

"Good. Tell him I miss our fights over the playstation please" he questioned

"Did you hear that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in Brax's direction

He nodded… "I miss them too. Especially when I beat him"

"He can hear you" I informed Heath "ask him questions and I'll give you his answer" I replied

"What's it like where you are?" he questioned

After another ten minutes of Brax and Heath talking via me, Brax disappeared, saying he'd see us later. Heath hugged me tightly and thanked me, a wide smile on my face. We continued to walk, making our way back to the house…


	18. Chapter 18

"Heath, will you be with me when I tell him please?" I asked as he stood up and walked into the kitchen

He nodded and smiled reassuringly, making us both a coffee, setting them down as Casey walked into the house…

"Hey, what's going on? Your text said it was urgent" he questioned

"Can you sit down Case? There's something Charlie has to tell you" Heath enquired

He nodded and sat down, raising an eyebrow at myself and Heath…

"This is gonna sound mental but just listen to me" I began "you see, the thing is, I see Brax, and I talk to him"

"What do you mean you speak to him? He's dead" he questioned, confused

"I see him. He's an apparition" I explained

"Why are you saying this?" he enquired

"Heath's spoken to him. It's a way of helping us grieve and I was wondering if you wanted to speak to him?" I asked

He raised an eyebrow at Heath and he nodded, confirming my statement…

"What did you talk to him about?" he asked Heath

"Everything. I told him I missed him and he said he missed us" Heath informed him "I asked him what it was like where he is"

"Is he here now?" he questioned, glancing at me

I nodded and smiled, seeing Brax's figure appear…

"Ask him anything" I informed him

Later on that evening I was laid on mine and Brax's bed when I felt him join me…

"This is unexpected" I admitted "what're you doing here?"

"I'm here to say goodbye" he informed me

"What? No, you can't" I proclaimed

"I've said my goodbyes and so have you. I'll still be here but I'll be in here" he explained, pointing to his heart

"You can't leave me" I admitted "I can't cope"

"You can and you will Charlie. Heath will help" he assured me

"No Brax, don't go" I begged

"I have to" he sighed "me being here is just making it harder"

"Harder on who? You or me?" I questioned

"In the long run, both of us" he replied "I'm always gonna be here Charl, you're just not gonna see me"

"That's the only thing that gets me through" I admitted

"Goodbye Charlie" he whispered

"No" I proclaimed "Brax, come back. Please, come back"

"Charlie, Charlie, what's the matter?" Heath asked worriedly, bursting into my room

"He's gone Heath, he's gone" I proclaimed as I began to sob

He sighed and sat down on the bed, pulling me into him, hugging me tightly as I sobbed…

Thank you for the lovely reviews but I've been thinking and unfortunately I don't have anywhere else I'm able to take this chapter so there'll be no more. Thank you again!


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